Hola! Hope you're smiling :)
Okay, so you have a mother? Everybody does. She who has been a good mom is an angel, every good mum is an angel. Yours is, mine is. She who hasn’t been a good mom is a secret that eats the child within. Each time you brag about your mum, it hurts someone who hasn’t known what ‘mom’ is like. Something’s aren’t such a big deal really.
This isn’t like bragging about one’s new car or a new spouse or sharing holiday pictures – those things are earned, nobody earns a mum.
This is a hard day for those who have lost their mothers, for mothers who have lost their kids, for kids whose mothers left them, for all those who are only ‘mistakes,’ for mothers who had to leave their kids, for wronged sons and daughters, and such a hard day for abandoned mums and forgotten grandmums.
This is a damn hard day – for many.
Upon posting the same on Facebook, a friend responded with this: If you think about it – every holiday or special occasion is hard for someone, while simultaneously bringing great joy (or simply thoughtful musing) to others. I think we all pick and choose the things we wish to celebrate – or ignore – for a variety of reasons. Such is human nature, something that cannot be controlled, regulated, or squished into conformity. I also call it the “Gilmore Girls” phenomenon.
The friend went on to explain the ‘Gilmore Girl’ phenomenon: In any given episode – whenever something really great, fun, happy, or special happened to Lorelie or Rory, the writers inevitably threw in a twist and simultaneously added an “angsty bridge” (Jesse and my term for the Downer Moment w/ a nod to music folks). It always bugged me in the imagined world of the show – but then again, it does seem to happen in reality. Guess we call that Life (tho i personally prefer the term – Gilmore Girls Phenomenon). Just sayin’.
It looks like my update bugged this friend a little bit (it can’t bug her too much as she’s a very dear friend) as it is a spoiler to a ‘really great, fun, happy or special’ thing. Sure it is, I like to believe this world needs sensitivity now more than ever. It is not wrong to be absolutely happy about something like Mother’s Day and celebrate the spirit of Motherhood but I think it is only civilized that through all our happiness, we spend a moment to think about the less fortunate who are not really a minority – they seem minority because as happy people tend to express their happiness, the suffering don’t express just as much.
I have come to realize how difficult it is for someone blessed with something precious to think of the same as a thing of unaffordable luxury to someone else. Perhaps why empathy is often so difficult. We aren’t talking about people in one part of the world being indifferent or ignorant of the troubles of humanity in another part. This is more intimate. Perhaps on that Facebook list of yours is a friend who is not a position to enjoy Mother’s Day.
Personally, I think of Mother’s Day as a great way to teach our children to think of mums and take a moment to thank them deeply and to be proud of them. Also, at the same time, I think it is unfortunate that it takes a ‘Day’ to accomplish this. A good mom raises her children to be thankful for all things they’re fortunate to have, it is therefore understood that they will be grateful to their moms and moms in general, not quite needing as such a Mother’s Day to make it customary but having one doesn’t hurt either.
Am I condemning the celebration of Mother’s Day, heck, no! What am I saying then? I am saying, let’s be more sensitive to other people’s personal stories especially when it is about things they have no control of and when this group could be a majority. And in addition to our celebration, let us take a moment to offer some empathy to the suffering, just sayin’.
P.S. I also love that poster on FB that says ‘I don’t always tell my mother how much I love her but when I do, it is not on Facebook.’