Hola! Hope you're smiling :)
I did not have to be afraid. I was afraid because at this point in time, I am afraid of everything. Really, everything. I am afraid of putting my feet on the on the ground after waking up each morning. I am afraid of the coldness of water on my skin when I go for a bath, I am afraid of words that I should write at work. I am afraid of everything. With you, a stranger that is like a free-bird, a free-spirited traveler and lastly, a charming man, I was afraid you wouldn’t write back but strangely and I know this irritating – I was more afraid that you would!
You made it so wonderfully easy – you did just what I had wished you did. You met up with me without any questions, without inquiries. I am writing this love letter not just because you met me but because you made it all so easy for me at a time when nothing was coming easy. I was motivated to write to you because the fear was making me sad and it was incredibly painful to dwell on the darkness that surrounded me. I wished to do normal things, like having coffee at my favourite coffee-shop just as before but I couldn’t do it alone and I had no friends.
You lent me your ear and listened to me ranting and swearing! Not once making me uncomfortable, not once showing any sign of conclusion that it was possibly a mistake to come meet me.
Who are you Sebastien? How can I, gripped by paralyzing paranoia wake up with such freshness of mind the morning after our meeting? I remember waking the next morning and telling myself that I shouldn’t be afraid of my feet touching land after a night’s sleep – that I won’t send my nerves into a sensory shock, that the water in the bath wouldn’t give me a shiver, that the world outside won’t roar at me. You restored my faith and courage – how can that be possible for a stranger to do it? I believed only angels can make such magic.
I will never forget you Sebastien. You, you I knew nothing about, you a stranger that smiles at things he doesn’t understand, you so gentle, warm and humble, you who invited me to France and you who sent me a nice sms thanking me for the meeting!
I am sure we will meet again, we just have to!